now for something completely different...

Katie's back hurt. And she had to pee, again. She had been up six times in the night. She lay watching the hand on the beautiful antique clock on the beautiful nightstand next to the beautiful custom made bed in the guest wing of a huge compound in L.A. In two minutes, at 4:58 a.m., she would be summoned by the intercom system. (During her first week, she thought she would be a diligent little employee and arrive early without being summoned. As she opened the fake door, he shouted at her. She ran back to her room in tears. She didn't see anybody else but him, but she was certain he wasn't alone. His assistant came in later and diplomatically explained she was never to come without being signaled first) She would make her way to the master suite, where she would take her place beside him in bed. There she would lay motionless for several minutes until the day staff would start to arrive. As the maid opened the door, they would be "emerging" from the bed. The maid would look alarmed, apologize profusely, and back out the door with her eyes lowered. He would flash the multi-million dollar veneers and say, "That's OK, Esperanza! Buenos Dias! Give us a few minutes!" Katie would smile her famous sheepish smile. With Esperanza's footsteps receding down the hall, he reminds her, "The morning briefing starts in five. See you in the office." Katie would make her way back to the lavish guest quarters via a hallway behind his shoe closet. The staff was only required to clean and service the guest quarters upon request. They would not know she was actually residing there unless they were especially hypervigilant. The night staff (she'd secretly dubbed them the "chosen ones" due to how close they were to him and how much information they were privy to. A few members of this "inner circle" were more familiar with the details of her agreement than she would ever be.) made sure the articles in the "hers" bathroom were in enough disarray to look used. The security staff inner circle members had them under such close surveillance that any perceived breach would be handled immediately. She would hurriedly pee, brush her teeth and hope she wouldn't have morning sickness. Being tardy to the morning briefing was grounds for a fine. Wednesday's bout of diarrhea cost her 50 grand. Over the initial 9 months of the contract, the fines had accumulated to a staggering amount. There was the initial 200 grand penalty for those unfortunate pictures of her in the Buddy Holly style glasses with the inflamed skin around her mouth. The tabloids were wild with speculation about the redness and swelling. One featured a prominent Beverly Hills plastic surgeon giving his expert opinion that it was a rare type of Herpes. Actually, the contract required removal of all body hair by laser treatments, the redness and swelling were common side effects. This was a stipulation he had required of all three. Of all of his obsessive compulsive stipulations and requirements, this was the one that had ended the first arrangement. The first wife just couldn't tolerate the laser treatments. She still has visible scars that prohibit her from showing much skin. It put quite a damper on her fledgling film career. Instead of catapulting her from virtual obscurity, as his camp had promised, it relegated her to wholesome matronly roles which take you no where fast in the industry. In her settlement, she and her legal team used this to their advantage. The retired judge who heard the case was sympathetic and granted her the full amount of the contract despite the fact that she was unable to fulfill the obligations. He was enraged and had to be calmed down by the spiritual advisors that remain available to him around the clock. Katie had been fined for each wardrobe faux-pas, each grimace or awkward expression, and any body language that could be misconstrued. The Good Morning America interview alone set her back close to one million dollars. She would still make enough money to ensure the next three generations of her offspring and those of her siblings would not have to struggle financially. While perched on the toilet seat, she allowed herself to think of Chris. The funny little things they used to say and do. The sex, especially in the beginning, when it was incredible and to be out of bed was to be in pain. There were things she missed about a real relationship, but she reminded herself that those things wouldn't bring generational wealth. Besides, if Chris hadn't cheated on her she wouldn't be in this situation. The call had come at one of the worst times she had ever experienced in her life. The reports about the state of her car and the cleaning crew he had dispatched to her house were true, but they didn't stop there. She had cancelled her cleaning services weeks before. She was only communicating with her manager and her immediate family from her bed. After she signed the contract, the "sweep" began. Her car was cleaned and promptly donated to charity. Her house was thoroughly cleaned to his specifications and anything not to his liking was put into storage or disposed of. Anything. That would include family photos that were not pleasing to his eye. Wardrobe staples like her favorite running gear and comfy sweats were strictly prohibited in the new quest to glamorize and sophisticate her. Her appointments with her doctors stopped abruptly, along with her antidepressant medication. His belief system prohibited the use of most drugs and was vehemently anti-psychology. Her new diet started immediately after a two week fast and enzymatic whole body cleanse including her lymphatic system. This process was overseen by a nutritionist from the Center. Literally. The nutritionist would stand over the meals as they were weighed and prepared. The nutritionist would stand over the toilet after Katie completed a bowel movement to note the color, texture and length as indication of how the regime was proceeding. He was briefed about all of these things daily. The egg donor had already been found and was undergoing the hormonal treatments. She was an eighteen year old girl with strikingly symmetrical features and stunning musculature who had been strictly brought up in the church lifestyle. She had consumed only minute amounts of processed and non-organic foods. Regular drug testing confirmed she had never partaken in so much as an aspirin. When he had insisted upon the spinal fluid test for LSD, the church leaders had appealed to him for leniency, especially in light of the absence of any "lighter" drug use, but he was undeterred and demanded it. Under the staggering sum of money being offered to the church and the family, the girl relented and subjected herself to it. Of course it came back negative. Katie was lucky that the in-vitro process had gone so smoothly and worked on the first try. The second contracted wife had tried for 6 years, every three months with no success. The last three years, he had kept her on because his adopted children were quite fond of her. She had surprised him at the end and fought for custodial rights. This retired judge had been sympathetic based on interviews he'd had with the children (despite his protests and much to his dismay) and granted her a certain amount of time each year, still leaning favorably toward his convenience. Katie forgot herself for a minute and thought about going to the grocery store. She still did this all time, momentarily forgetting that any normalcy she'd had prior was gone for now. As she took her seat for the morning briefing to be followed by hair, make up and wardrobe ( every style, shade of lipgloss and even undergarment pre-approved by him or a representative), Katie took heart. The recent photos of the second wife enjoying elements of mundane and ordinary life gave her hope. It'll be just a couple more years and she would be free.