catalyst
Annoying John was ranting. He had ranted through Community Group. He was well on his way to ranting through the second group meeting of the day. "Dese people in here are ignorant! I mean, dat's just not right! Dat's all we got in here! Dat's like havin' five kids, OK? And den you tellin' tree of dem kids dat dey can have ice cream. And den tell da udder two dat dey can't have none. Dat's not fair! Dat's my opinion and I want my opinion to be spoke! I mean, it don't make no kinda sense!"
Sweet little Mae Ling was looking at John intently, nodding. At her first opportunity, she spoke. "John, I understand how you feel, but rules are rules. After a lot of careful consideration, the staff and administration decided that providing community cigarettes was becoming too burdensome. It's also in conflict with our mission here at County Central; we shouldn't be encouraging the habit. We don't think it is unreasonabl....."
John cut her off, "But you guys don't unnerstand what it's like for us. For da people dat's addicted to alcohaw, we can't get no alcohaw. For da people dat's addicted to gettin' high, we..uh..dey can't get no weed. Dat's all we got is our cigarettes, ya know!?!" And da nuther ting is, why didn't dey discuss dis wiff us? If we're da ones dat's gotta be in here, dey shoulda axed us what we taught a dis, so we could stand up fer what we believe in! Cuz, me...I'm gonna stand up fer what I tink is right! I'm gonna speak up...!"
I looked over at the new girl, Jenna. She was 18, a high school senior, straight A student, cheerleader, kind, respectful and mannerly. She was a perfectionist with generalized anxiety disorder and she had tried to kill herself three days ago. She had all the potential in the world. Next to her sat Christopher, 16. Another smart articulate friendly generous kid with great manners, musical talent and an easy likeable disposition. A model son or little brother. His family brought him in after they found his journal full of suicidal ideation. His entire life was ahead of him. These two kids had already contributed more to the world than John would ever. They were here for real problems.
One of the nurses on the unit had started to bring in a pack of cigarettes to have on hand if one of the smokers was temporarily out. The understanding was you could have a "unit cigarette" until you could arrange for a visitor to bring you some. John and Angela had smuggled in packs via Angela's niece. All patient cigarettes were supposed to be kept behind the counter to deter smoking in patient rooms. They were keeping theirs hidden on their persons and smoking them in the bathrooms between official "smoke breaks." When the time came for official smoke breaks, John and Angela would ask if they could have unit cigarettes. John had paid Angela's niece for his smuggled cigarettes with money stolen from another patient. The decision to stop bringing in unit cigarettes had been announced in Community Group. Since John had smuggled cigarettes on his person, he was basically ranting because he could no longer take advantage of free cigarettes. Vile Scumbag.
Mae Ling was fresh out of grad school. She had probably grown up in a respectful family, in a decent neighborhood, and went to a school of mostly middle and upper middle class kids. Her education had not prepared her for a person like John. He did not recognize normal social cues. Her diplomatic and respectful mores were lost on this street vermin.I had grown up around the country, but had spent a considerable amount of time in a town outside of Gary, Indiana. After my father split, my mother and I resided in a government-subsidized housing development (translated; the projects, the jets, the pj's). When forced to, I could speak John's language.
"DUDE!" I yelled in his face and cut him off midsentence. The element of surprise is tantamount to physical domination when dealing with these people. "ENOUGH! WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE DAMN CIGARETTES! THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE WITH REAL PROBLEMS! YOU HAVE DOMINATED TWO GROUPS WITH THIS BULLSHIT! THAT'S ENOUGH ALREADY!" Cursing is also an important tactic. It shows just enough irreverance to the authority figure present to suggest you may resort to physical violence if necessary. I had said very little in groups until this point. I participated if called upon. I didn't volunteer to share. Gentle Karen was making her way to the door as was Jenna and Roxanne. Ashley Burroughs, as I had taken to calling her because of her affinity for Augusten Burroughs, stayed by my side. As a veteran of Juvey (juvenile detention center), Ashley had seen her share of shit fly. No violence John could inflict could ever compare to fighting a black girl, something Ashley and I had in common. John was momentarily silent, then slid forward in his seat and pointed in my face,"I'LL SAY WHAT I WANT AN' IF YOU DOAN LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARIN' YOU CAN LEAVE!"
"NO, YOU NEED TO LEAVE. YOU HAVE DISRUPTED GROUP LONG ENOUGH. YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANYBODY ELSE'S PROBLEMS. CIGARETTES ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO THE REST OF THE GROUP. THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE THAT ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN THEIR HEALTH AND TRYING TO GET BETTER." I leaned forward, but didn't scoot to the edge of my seat because my knees would have touched his.
"John, Please leave." Mae Ling spoke while crossing the room to the Security phone.
"I AIN"T LEAVIN'! AX HER TA LEAVE! SHE STARTED RUNNIN' HER MOUTH! SHE'S THE ONE NEEDS TA LEAVE!" John was flailing his arms about. A droplet of saliva flew from his mouth to the floor.
"John, I am asking you to leave the room immediately, or you will be escorted out." Mae Ling was speaking calmly but her eyes were betraying her. This was probably her first "situation."
She spoke into the white old school phone receiver and hung up.
"Jo-ohn, just shu-ut up a-and lea-eave. You're so-o stu-upid." That was my little buddy, Ashley.
John rose to leave as the security guy appeared in the doorway. "I DOAN KNOW WHY YOU GOTTA RUN YOUR MOUTH. YOU FAT HO!" He stood over me for a second and raised his fist. I didn't flinch. "I wish you would hit me, street trash." I hissed at him through my teeth so Mae Ling wouldn't hear me. Ashley looked at me, alarmed. The security guard yelled, "HEY! DON'T DO IT!" John lowered his hand and walked out of the room, yelling insults and profanities with the security guard on his heels.
"You're no-ot fa-at. And you're no-ot a ho-o." said Ashley.
Thanks, kid.
Sweet little Mae Ling was looking at John intently, nodding. At her first opportunity, she spoke. "John, I understand how you feel, but rules are rules. After a lot of careful consideration, the staff and administration decided that providing community cigarettes was becoming too burdensome. It's also in conflict with our mission here at County Central; we shouldn't be encouraging the habit. We don't think it is unreasonabl....."
John cut her off, "But you guys don't unnerstand what it's like for us. For da people dat's addicted to alcohaw, we can't get no alcohaw. For da people dat's addicted to gettin' high, we..uh..dey can't get no weed. Dat's all we got is our cigarettes, ya know!?!" And da nuther ting is, why didn't dey discuss dis wiff us? If we're da ones dat's gotta be in here, dey shoulda axed us what we taught a dis, so we could stand up fer what we believe in! Cuz, me...I'm gonna stand up fer what I tink is right! I'm gonna speak up...!"
I looked over at the new girl, Jenna. She was 18, a high school senior, straight A student, cheerleader, kind, respectful and mannerly. She was a perfectionist with generalized anxiety disorder and she had tried to kill herself three days ago. She had all the potential in the world. Next to her sat Christopher, 16. Another smart articulate friendly generous kid with great manners, musical talent and an easy likeable disposition. A model son or little brother. His family brought him in after they found his journal full of suicidal ideation. His entire life was ahead of him. These two kids had already contributed more to the world than John would ever. They were here for real problems.
One of the nurses on the unit had started to bring in a pack of cigarettes to have on hand if one of the smokers was temporarily out. The understanding was you could have a "unit cigarette" until you could arrange for a visitor to bring you some. John and Angela had smuggled in packs via Angela's niece. All patient cigarettes were supposed to be kept behind the counter to deter smoking in patient rooms. They were keeping theirs hidden on their persons and smoking them in the bathrooms between official "smoke breaks." When the time came for official smoke breaks, John and Angela would ask if they could have unit cigarettes. John had paid Angela's niece for his smuggled cigarettes with money stolen from another patient. The decision to stop bringing in unit cigarettes had been announced in Community Group. Since John had smuggled cigarettes on his person, he was basically ranting because he could no longer take advantage of free cigarettes. Vile Scumbag.
Mae Ling was fresh out of grad school. She had probably grown up in a respectful family, in a decent neighborhood, and went to a school of mostly middle and upper middle class kids. Her education had not prepared her for a person like John. He did not recognize normal social cues. Her diplomatic and respectful mores were lost on this street vermin.I had grown up around the country, but had spent a considerable amount of time in a town outside of Gary, Indiana. After my father split, my mother and I resided in a government-subsidized housing development (translated; the projects, the jets, the pj's). When forced to, I could speak John's language.
"DUDE!" I yelled in his face and cut him off midsentence. The element of surprise is tantamount to physical domination when dealing with these people. "ENOUGH! WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE DAMN CIGARETTES! THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE WITH REAL PROBLEMS! YOU HAVE DOMINATED TWO GROUPS WITH THIS BULLSHIT! THAT'S ENOUGH ALREADY!" Cursing is also an important tactic. It shows just enough irreverance to the authority figure present to suggest you may resort to physical violence if necessary. I had said very little in groups until this point. I participated if called upon. I didn't volunteer to share. Gentle Karen was making her way to the door as was Jenna and Roxanne. Ashley Burroughs, as I had taken to calling her because of her affinity for Augusten Burroughs, stayed by my side. As a veteran of Juvey (juvenile detention center), Ashley had seen her share of shit fly. No violence John could inflict could ever compare to fighting a black girl, something Ashley and I had in common. John was momentarily silent, then slid forward in his seat and pointed in my face,"I'LL SAY WHAT I WANT AN' IF YOU DOAN LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARIN' YOU CAN LEAVE!"
"NO, YOU NEED TO LEAVE. YOU HAVE DISRUPTED GROUP LONG ENOUGH. YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANYBODY ELSE'S PROBLEMS. CIGARETTES ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO THE REST OF THE GROUP. THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE THAT ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN THEIR HEALTH AND TRYING TO GET BETTER." I leaned forward, but didn't scoot to the edge of my seat because my knees would have touched his.
"John, Please leave." Mae Ling spoke while crossing the room to the Security phone.
"I AIN"T LEAVIN'! AX HER TA LEAVE! SHE STARTED RUNNIN' HER MOUTH! SHE'S THE ONE NEEDS TA LEAVE!" John was flailing his arms about. A droplet of saliva flew from his mouth to the floor.
"John, I am asking you to leave the room immediately, or you will be escorted out." Mae Ling was speaking calmly but her eyes were betraying her. This was probably her first "situation."
She spoke into the white old school phone receiver and hung up.
"Jo-ohn, just shu-ut up a-and lea-eave. You're so-o stu-upid." That was my little buddy, Ashley.
John rose to leave as the security guy appeared in the doorway. "I DOAN KNOW WHY YOU GOTTA RUN YOUR MOUTH. YOU FAT HO!" He stood over me for a second and raised his fist. I didn't flinch. "I wish you would hit me, street trash." I hissed at him through my teeth so Mae Ling wouldn't hear me. Ashley looked at me, alarmed. The security guard yelled, "HEY! DON'T DO IT!" John lowered his hand and walked out of the room, yelling insults and profanities with the security guard on his heels.
"You're no-ot fa-at. And you're no-ot a ho-o." said Ashley.
Thanks, kid.
posted by katherine at 9:50 AM
1 Comments:
I suppose I lack that strand of street wisdom. 'Thanks kid' sounds so bad ass...Dick Tracy bad ass...or even better, Paul Newman to Piper Laurie bad ass.
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