sister christian

Sandy looked at me. I looked at her. She raised her left eyebrow and made a smirky-face. I raised my left eyebrow, side-smirked and nodded. I was pickin' up what she was puttin' down.
Summer had once again alluded to the running nude story. Bob looked slightly amused, slightly uncomfortable and slightly turned on all at the same time. Stripped of all of her paraphernalia, implements and pageant varnish, Summer would probably appeal to teenage boys and pedophiles. She made sure to show every person on the unit a picture of herself all dolled up in a red strapless dress. She did not look unlike a Playboy Playmate hopeful with a huge rack which had been concealed until this point under her men's XL T-shirts. The men of the unit, which at that time consisted of Bob, Dave and first-day Lenny, were all suddenly slightly fascinated by her. They were much more attentive when she spoke. Their eyes stayed on her a little longer when she walked in a room.
Bob interrupted Summer's intro to the nude story, "Summer, I think everybody's familiar with why you're here. When I asked everyone to tell their most embarrassing moment,I meant one in which you were cognizant. Do you have a story about a time like that?"
"Oh, Gosh...yes I do! My husband and I were at a pool party with lots of friends and family. My oldest daughter wanted to jump off the diving board with me." I looked at Sandy again. She was with me. "Well, we jumped and when we came up, my dad came over to me with a towel and said, 'Summer Louise, cover yourself!' I looked down at myself and my whole top was down around my waist! Can you imagine!?! All of my friends and family had seen me half naked!" She put her hand over her mouth and threw her head back, "I just wanted to die!"
Sandy looked like Heather Locklear's tired chain smoking sister with a bad hairstylist. Mind you, she had been in the ICU for three days after taking an assload of pills. She looked at Summer and asked point blank, "You got somethin' with bein' naked?"
Summer looked surprised, then caught herself, "You would think so, wouldn't you!?!" She laughed. "I don't know why I just keep finding myself naked!"
Bob looked at me, "Kathy, you're next...your most embarassing moment.." I have a few embarassing moments. There's the one I tell, the one I only tell shrinks and the one I have never told anybody. I didn't feel like sharing. "I'm kind of embarassed because when I came in , I only brought myself, and all I have to wear every day are these green pajamas. I'm The Crazy Jolly Green Giant Lady!"
Lenny had come in approximately 20 hours ago. "All I have is this tie-dye t-shirt! I'm crazy Grateful Dead Guy wearin' hospital slippers!" I was beginning to notice Lenny.
Sandy said, "I have some sweats you can borrow so you can wash those. Come to my room after group and we'll find ya somethin'."
Now, I have this thing...about being helped. I usually try to avoid it. If somebody wants to help me I make it very hard for them. If you offer me help, I will not readily accept it. You will have to force the help on me. Sandy was a mother and had that keen intuition I wish I could cultivate.
After group, I slipped into my room, hoping Sandy would forget about her offer. I was also hoping she would force the help on me because with all the medication they were giving me, I had hella BO. I had spent the day with my arms clamped to my sides lest I offend. The lunch cart was late. I stayed in my room as long as I could and then went to the dining area. Sandy was no airhead. "Hey! You didn't come to my room. After lunch, we'll get ya somethin' to change into." Sure enough, when lunch was over, Sandy followed me to my room. "Here, come here, let's see what I have for you." I followed her. At this point, resistance was futile. She handed me some grey sweatpants and a NASCAR T-shirt. I wanted to laugh so badly. If they could see me now...in my NASCAR T-shirt. I haven't addressed this in my blog as yet, but I am ...a clothing snob. I've spent most of my life working in high-end retail establishments. Although I could rarely afford many of the items I sold or helped sell in one way or another, I have cultivated a certain aesthetic appreciation. I thought of any number of people I know coming into the hospital, seeing me in a NASCAR T-shirt and being even more alarmed or worried about me than they would normally be under the same circumstances. "Where did she get those clothes? She would never be caught dead in those clothes! Do you think it's drugs? Is she on drugs? Why else would she be in those clothes? She is not even herself! Dear Lord, I hope they can help her!"
I put on Sandy's clothes and was pleasantly comfortable. Free, even. They were huge! I had forgotten that inexpensive clothes are way bigger than more costly ones. The pants softly billowed around me. The shirt touched my shoulders and arms and hung nearly to my knees. Summer was on to something. This was great. I felt...naked.